hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I'm going to write a book about John. It's going to be called big dreams, little dick
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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