its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
