You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
