You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
