The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
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