yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
