I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I feel like if he almost got me pregnant once, i can at least say hi in a bar
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
