Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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