it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I seem to have left my pride at pride
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
that is very illegal...i love you.
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