Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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