Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
So I just went to clothing optional bar
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
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