I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
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