I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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