Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
