he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
