My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
