his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
dude. I can hear the air.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
