i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
