Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I'm texring you during a blow job. She thinks I'm looking shit up. Fml. Ftw.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
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