Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
