i don't plan on having that self control this summer
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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