just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
