I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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