I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
is wine microwaveable?
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
