girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
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