I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Right now, there's some ten year old kid getting ready to go outside and play basketball. He will soon find out his basketball hoop was no match for my car.
Swish.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
