I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
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