i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
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