and you said cock pushups were impossible
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
