uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
