watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
I understand Curling. That high.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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