NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
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