Those balls look pretty dangerous.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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