we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
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