I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
