Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
