didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
Randomize
