Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
