chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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