I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
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