This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
