Its about making memories worth repressing
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
Randomize
