So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
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