my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Randomize
