i wish starbucks made bloody marys
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
