Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Randomize
