i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
