Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Randomize
