2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
