I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Randomize
