Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize
