can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
